


Yet What I Can, I Give Him (Give My Heart)

by Valentia



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bad Puns, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Puns, Christmas market, Cute, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gentle Kissing, Getting Together, Gift Giving, M/M, Mistletoe, Mutual Pining, Pining, Snow, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27974468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valentia/pseuds/Valentia
Summary: Dan doesn’t expect it when Kevin takes off his glove and, instead of giving it to Dan, takes Dan’s hand into his.“Is this okay?” Kevin asks, and Dan just… he just feels like the snowflakes must be melting even before they touch his face.“Yeah,” he breathes, watching the word evaporate between them. He feels his heart skip a beat, and looking at Kevin’s shy expression, he intertwines their fingers. “More than okay.”--Kevin shows Dan around at Cork's beautiful Christmas market. The Christmas spirit unveils all kinds of feelings.
Relationships: Daniel Condren/Kevin O'Reilly
Comments: 18
Kudos: 74
Collections: Advent Calendar Exchange 2020cmrt





	Yet What I Can, I Give Him (Give My Heart)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Feck_Pi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feck_Pi/gifts).



> Hi everyone!  
> This fic is part of the CMRT advent calendar gift exchange which was organised on the CMRT discord server. It goes out to Ry, merry early Christmas, sweetheart!  
> Title from "In the bleak midwinter" by Christina Rossetti.  
> This is basically just 4k words of pure fluff. Have fun.

The chilly air sends little shivers down Daniel’s spine, an unwelcome contrast to the warmth he feels as he thinks about the person he is about to meet. The muffled sound of people chattering seeps through the misty air to his ears. It is accompanied by the faint notes of Jingle Bells, which is currently played throughout the whole market. Dan shoves his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket, wishing he’d brought gloves, and tilts his face down so that his face, right up to his nose, is buried in his fluffy scarf. Every puff of air he lets out warms his cold cheeks. He loves winter, he really does, except for the all-consuming, bone-chilling, teeth-chattering cold.

He closes his eyes, letting the sound of bells tinkling and children laughing fill his ears until he feels a presence behind himself. He tilts his head up and opens his eyes, only to be met with… darkness? He blinks and it takes him a second to realise that the reason he can’t see anything is that someone is holding their hands up only millimetres from his eyes. The presence behind him is so close he can feel their body heat even through his (admittedly way too thin) coat.

“Hello Kevin,” Dan says, his voice a bit raspy from the cold and because this is probably the first time he’s opened his mouth today for anything that isn’t food.

“I’m not Kevin,” Kevin says, in that ridiculously over the top Irish accent he does. “Good Sir, ‘tis not ye friend but merely a simple beggar lookin’ fer a kind fellow to brighten up me day.”

Dan hopes Kevin can’t hear the grin in his voice as he says, “Well, if yer out fer money, ye can feck right off, lad.”

The hands in front of his eyes are removed, and Dan turns around.

“You’re so rude, Daniel.”

Kevin is smiling brightly, his pointy canines on full display. Dan smiles back.

“So I’ve been told before. It’s good to see you, Kevin.”

“You too.”

Kevin pulls him into a tight hug, and Dan welcomes the little warmth and jump of his heart. His face is pressed into Kevin’s scarf, a waft of his aftershave tickling his nose. Dan breathes in deeply.

When they let go, Kevin gestures towards the stalls and heaps of people mingling in the next street. “This is the best Christmas market in the whole of Ireland, I promise.”

Kevin has always had a childish excitement about him and Dan sees it now in his twinkling eyes. His nose and cheeks are rosy, contrasting his pale skin, and he’s wearing a black beanie pulled almost all the way over his ears. Meanwhile, Dan feels as if his own ears are being stabbed repeatedly by the cold air. He regrets underestimating the weather in Cork.

Dan chuckles. “Well, how many Christmas markets have you been to?”

“Absolutely not the point.”

“Well, I’ll happily let you convince me.”

“Gladly.”

They enter the market under a massive red, white and green arch, decorated with lights, ornaments, and fir branches. The biggest mistletoe that Dan has ever seen hangs off the middle, adorned with little bells and red ribbons. Market stalls line the streets, only kept apart by an awful lot of decorated Christmas trees stuck to streetlights or standing by themselves. The area is illuminated by thousands of fairy lights, fanned out above the people and outlining the shapes of the stalls. Immediately Dan is hit with the smell of mulled wine, sandalwood and candy. Jingle Bells has been replaced by Wonderful Christmastime, and Dan fears he will go home with at least five Christmas songs still stuck in his head. He may be a little in awe.

Kevin taps his shoulder. “Told you it’s good.”

“I haven’t really seen much yet.”

“Well, come on then, time to rumble and tumble down the Christmas market.”

Dan boxes his arm. “I hate you,” he says, way more affectionately than he’d intended to. He falls into step with Kevin anyway.

Dan takes his time admiring the different stalls and handcrafted decorations that are being sold. He stops at a stall that sells poetry and prose themed around Christmas. A kind-looking woman greets him and they end up chatting about whether “The Night Before Christmas” by C. C. Moore (according to the woman) or “Christmas Trees” by Robert Frost (according to Dan) is the more beautiful Christmas poem. They agree that both are fine, and when they say goodbye, Dan catches Kevin smiling amusedly at him.

“Nerd,” he says, and Dan blushes. 

“In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan, / Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone; / Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow, / In the bleak midwinter, long ago,” Dan recites.

“Is that the poem?” Kevin asks.

Dan shakes his head. “No, it’s a different one.”

Kevin clears his throat. “Well, maybe poetry ‘s not half bad.”

Dan presses his lips together, suppressing a wide grin.

They squeeze through the mass of chattering people until Kevin stops in front of a small stall that sells Christmas socks and holiday sweaters. Some of the sweaters have lights that are flashing, some have Rudolph the reindeer on the front with his big red nose inviting Dan to squish it. Kevin looks at the socks, eventually holding a pack of two pair out to Dan. Dan takes them, and as soon as he reads what it says on them, he snorts.

“ _You’re sleigh-in’ it…_ Really, Kevin? Christmas pun socks?”

Kevin is still going through the ones hanging off the wooden rack.

“I know you love them, Dan. I’ve seen your sushi socks! Don’t tell you me you don’t love them.”

Dan grins. “Alright, alright, yes, I love them. And what does the other say…”

He turns the pack around to read the pun on the other pair, and his breath gets stuck in his throat just a little bit. _I’m pine-ing for you._ Dan blushes. That must be a coincidence, Kevin surely didn’t mean anything with it, there’s no need to overinterpret stupid Christmas pun socks, it was just–

“Ha, look at these, Dan! _Deer to dream_. And the other one is, uh… _When I think about you, I touch my–_ um, oh, these are not really child-friendly, are they?”

Dan’s heart is only beating faster, but he can’t let the opportunity to embarrass Kevin go by. “What are you touching when you think of me Kevin, huh?”

Kevin stutters. “It says ‘my elf’, as in ‘not myself’, so like elf instead of self, haha, funny.”

“Poor Dobby, hasn’t he been through enough?”

“God, Dan, I don’t want these pictures in my head.”

Dan laughs, his heart filled with fresh warmth. “Come on, Kevin, I’m sure there’s a lot more to see.”

They hang the socks back, a smile on their lips. “They were great socks, though,” Kevin says.

“Oh, _fir sure_.”

Kevin’s laugh is music to Dan’s ears.

At the next street corner, they turn left and are immediately hit by a strong smell of food.

“They have everything here, I tell you, everything you could want!”

“Roasted almonds?” Dan asks.

“Yep.”

“Crèpes?”

“Yep.”

“Mulled wine?”

“Of course, what a question.”

“Even roast chestnuts?”

“The very best in Ireland.”

“Uh-huh, okay, pretty good for a Christmas market.”

Kevin smiles brightly. “Told ye.”

They pass a massive tent with loud Christmas music and multiple stalls selling candy canes, candyfloss and the most absurd flavours of chocolate. Eventually, Kevin stops at the side of the street, right next to a stall that sells fries and ‘Original German Bratwurst’.

“Are you hungry?” Kevin asks.

Dan shrugs. “A little bit. I could eat something sweet. Why, did you want to eat here?” He gestures to the bratwurst stall.

Kevin follows his gaze. “What? No. I mean yeah, I’d love a little snack, but I didn’t stop here on purpose. I mean, it’s not bad food, but I’ve been to Germany and what they call originally German doesn’t even come close. They don’t even put the sausage in the right, uhhh, brotchen.”

“Brötchen,” Dan corrects him.

“Yeah, right, brötchen. I said that,” Kevin nods.

“Mh-mh.”

For a moment, they just look at each other.

“Um, if you don’t mind, I could go for a waffle with powdered sugar. They were always my favourite when I used to go with my parents.”

Kevin’s eyes get big. “They’re feckin’ great, yeah, let’s get one of them.”

Steaming waffles in hand, they end up squeezing themselves at a bar table between two food stalls. Kevin has taken off his gloves and breaks off pieces with his hand, while Dan, very gracefully, mind you, takes the thing and just shoves it in his mouth. When he puts the waffle down again, Kevin is laughing at him.

“Whot,” he asks, his mouth full of tasty waffle.

“You, uh, you have–” Kevin gestures above his own lip. “The sugar. You have a moustache now.”

Dan swallows, blushing. “Oh, uh, sorry, my table manners are not the best.”

Kevin grins. “I can see that.”

Dan doesn’t have a napkin, so he just tries to wipe it off as good as possible with the back of his hand. After a while, he asks, “Is it gone?”

Kevin leans forward, examining Dan’s face closely. “Um, yeah, almost, there’s something on the left. … No, the other left. … Um, no, here, let me…”

Dan stands still as Kevin reaches over to him, his thumb carefully wiping off the last traces of sugar from the corner of his mouth. He’s not breathing, and Kevin’s finger feels burning hot against his cold skin.

“There, now it’s gone,” Kevin says, and Dan smiles gratefully. He eats the rest of his waffle the way Kevin does.

When they’re done, Dan feels thirsty. “Hey, where do they sell drinks around here? Maybe a hot chocolate or something?”

Kevin grins. “Oh, Daniel, I know exactly what we’re going to drink. Follow me.”

Dan doesn’t have much of a choice.

Kevin leads them to a massive stall that looks almost like a whole building, made completely of dark wood and with a sign above the door that says ‘Raise your holiday spirits!’. Dan sighs. The puns just keep following them today.

Stepping inside feels like stepping into a sauna. The air is hot, thick and humid, and the unmistakable smell of mulled wine envelops them immediately. There’s a bar with seats to the right and tables placed all throughout the room. People are laughing and speaking loudly over the music – cheesy pop songs instead of Christmas carols.

“Why don’t you try to find us a seat and I’ll get us some mulled wine?” Kevin suggests. “Promise it’s the best you’ve ever had.”

“You really put this market up to some high standards, don’t you?”

“Just speaking the truth, my dear friend.”

“Alright alright, go get us something.”

Dan watches Kevin pass between the people to the bar and looks around to find them a table. There is a small one at the back that’s still empty and he occupies it happily. At least in here, his ears don’t give him a headache.

After a minute, Kevin comes back, two steaming mugs of dark red liquid in his hand.

“Mulled wine?” Dan asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes!”

“With alcohol?”

“Obviously.”

Dan snorts. “Shouldn’t you be getting the children’s punch?”

Kevin shoves the mug in Dan’s hand, rolling his eyes. “Feck off.”

They sip their wine slowly, catching up on life and streaming and family, but Dan still catches himself losing focus quite a few times. He can’t help himself, Kevin looks too handsome in his dark red scarf and beanie, skinny jeans and rosy cheeks, lips a little chapped but looking very pink and very, very kissable. His gaze falls to Kevin playing with the handle of the mug, his hands still glove-clad. He notices how one of Kevin’s hands can almost wrap around the whole mug, while Dan barely manages to make his fingertips touch as he holds it with both hands.

“… still listening? Dan? Earth to RTGamer?”

“Huh?” Dan looks back up to Kevin, feeling himself blush at being caught staring.

“Where were you there?” Kevin asks, without anger in his voice, just friendly curiosity.

They’ve almost finished their cups and the warmth, and possibly alcohol, has loosened his tongue, so before he can stop himself he blurts out, “You have big hands.”

Kevin chuckles. “That’s what you’ve been thinking about? My hands?”

_Oh, I think about your hands quite ofte–_

“No, I mean, yes, I mean, never mind, what were you saying?”

But Kevin is already holding his hand up, turning it and staring at it. “I guess I have big hands, I don’t know. I don’t really have anything to compare it to.”

He looks at Dan. Then, he pushes his palm towards Dan, holding his hand up as if asking for a high five.

“Um…”

Dan takes his hand off the warm mug, pushing it lightly against Kevin’s. He feels embarrassed at how his fingers are almost an entire knuckle shorter than Kevin’s, his own hand looking tiny and bony in comparison. His friend grins, bending his fingers to cup the tips of Dan’s fingers.

“Ha, cute,” Kevin says and Dan blushes even harder. He doesn’t take his hand away, though. The contact feels nice.

Dan looks at him, just as Kevin smiles and bites his lip in a way that is too attractive for his own good. Dan feels Kevin’s fingers move and thinks he’s going to take his hand away. But instead, he pushes his fingers between Dan’s and grips his hand tightly. Slowly, Dan squeezes back. The fabric of the gloves feels soft against his bare skin.

They’re suddenly pulled out of their trance by the group of people at the table next to them, all of which start laughing loudly and hysterically. There must have been more than one mug of mulled wine involved, Dan thinks. Kevin pulls his hand back, but keeps his smile. Dan’s hand tingles.

After Kevin brought the mugs back, they make their way outside again. The cold hits Dan like a brick, and having been inside for so long only makes the air feel even harsher now. He feels goosebumps rise on his skin and mutters a soft “Fuck” under his breath. Kevin notices.

“Are you cold?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Dan, you’re already shaking.”

Dan sighs. “Not much I can do, really. It was much warmer in Dublin this week.”

Without hesitation, Kevin takes off his hat, putting it on Dan’s head.

“Kevin, you really don’t need to–”

“I know I don’t need to,” he says softly. “I want to.”

“But your ears will get cold,” Dan protests, even though he very much welcomes the warmth enveloping his head.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Thank you, Kevin.”

“Of course, always.”

Dan sighs. “I wish I’d brought a thicker jacket. And gloves. Cork is fuckin freezing.”

Kevin groans. “Ugh, I know. But we’ll warm up at home later, with a nice cup of tea, the virtual fire crackling and at least five blankets.”

Dan smiles warmly. “Can’t wait.”

They walk for a while, stopping at a stall to buy a few roasted almonds. They’re horribly overpriced, Dan notices, as is all the food and drinks at Christmas markets, but it’s the one time of the year where he doesn’t want to think about money. They share the almonds as they pass countless people. Kevin leads them away from the crowd to a little secluded courtyard, surrounded by high buildings and filled with a few trees, colourful fairy lights hanging between the leafless branches. They stop under a tree and Dan leans his back against it. The music and the chattering seem a little further away here, almost mixing into one steady noise. The courtyard is windless and quiet, making Dan hyperaware of their crunching as they eat the last of the almonds. Kevin, of course, steals the last one from him.

“Thanks for showing me around,” Dan says, his hands playing with the hem of his scarf.

“You’re very welcome, Dan, my pleasure! Hope you’re liking it so far.”

“It’s a very beautiful Christmas market indeed.”

“Good, I’m glad I didn’t promise too much.”

Dan shakes his head lightly. “No, you didn’t, it’s–”

He stops dead in his tracks. Dan looks at Kevin’s hair, then up at the sky.

“Um, Dan?”

“It’s snowing!”

“Huh?”

Kevin looks up, too, blinking against the sky that is completely grey and covered in clouds. He feels something cold land on his right cheek.

“I can’t believe it’s actually snowing in Ireland, in December!”

Dan smiles, stepping away from the tree to catch a few snowflakes in his hand. They melt immediately. When he turns back to Kevin, he’s smiling at him. Snowflakes land on his dark blonde hair, getting caught in rogue strands. It looks pretty.

“It’s because you’re here, Dan,” Kevin says, coming closer. “It’s snowing for you.”

Kevin is right in front of him now, their visible breaths mingling.

“It’s beautiful,” Dan says, and he doesn’t just mean the snow.

“Dan…”

“Yes?”

Kevin bites his lip. “Um, so…” He takes a deep breath in, holds it for a few seconds, then lets it out as a sigh, almost defeated. “Let’s make our way home. Now I’m starting to get cold, too.”

Dan’s breath is trembling. He clears his throat. “Oh, oh yeah, sure, of course.”

Kevin gives him a lopsided smile. Dan smiles back, rubbing his hands together and breathing warm air into them. He feels like his hands might fall off any second. He doesn’t expect it when Kevin takes off his glove and, instead of giving it to Dan, takes Dan’s hand into his.

“Is this okay?” Kevin asks, and Dan just… he just feels like the snowflakes must be melting even before they touch his face.

“Yeah,” he breathes, watching the word evaporate between them. He feels his heart skip a beat, and looking at Kevin’s shy expression, he intertwines their fingers. “More than okay.”

After a second he adds, “Come on, let’s go,” and playfully pulls Kevin by his hand until they fall into step. Kevin’s hand is steadily squeezing his and keeping him warm.

Dan feels euphoric as they walk in the crowd, making sure they always pass around a group of people on the same side, so they don’t have to let go of each other. Being pulled through narrow streets as he trails behind Kevin, his gaze fixed on where they are connected. They are almost back at where they started when Dan spots a stall that sells all kinds of home decoration. There are lanterns, candles, mobiles, Christmas themed dinnerware, and all kinds of finely crafted wooden figures. But what catches Dan’s eyes are the snow globes. They stumble a bit as Dan stops abruptly, but Kevin shows no protest as Dan walks over to the stall, mumbling an absent “Hello” to the shop owner. 

The globe Dan has his eyes on is not too big but not too small either, it is not even the size of his hand, but even as the snow is lying calmly on the floor, he feels a sort of twinkling come from it. As he takes it in his hand, he realises that there is glitter in the water, too, and the bottom part is made of white, opaque glass, feeling almost soft in his hand. He shakes it lightly and snow starts falling around the scene in the middle. A brown and grey cat with a Christmas hat is sleeping peacefully in front of a beautifully decorated Christmas tree. The cat reminds Dan of George, and he feels himself tear up a little. The snow has settled, so Dan shakes the globe again, watching the snow envelop the small cat. He barely registers Kevin letting go of his hand and talking to the shop owner.

He checks the bottom of the globe, but there’s no price. The same globe also exists in a bigger size, but Dan likes how it looks like this, small and cute. He shakes it a third time, mesmerized by the snow and sleeping cat, until someone taps him on the shoulder.

“Huh?”

Dan looks up to Kevin standing in front of him, holding out a little present bag.

“What is that?” he asks, putting the globe back down for a second.

Kevin doesn’t say anything, just gestures for Dan to grab it, a smile slowly spreading on his lips.

“Kevin, you really didn’t–”

“But I want to,” he interrupts him, his voice firm but soft.

Dan sighs. “Okay.”

He grabs the bag, removes some decorative paper from the top and pulls out…

“Kevin.”

“Dan, I’ve never seen you look at something so entranced. You… you were smiling the entire time. So I wanted to gift it to you. It’s very pretty. Like, um, like you.”

Dan looks at mini George sleeping peacefully in front of the Christmas tree. The last snowflakes are twirling in the globe.

“Thank you,” he says, carefully putting the globe back into the bag. “Thank you so much.”

He pulls Kevin into a hug, squeezing him tight and pressing his face into his shoulder. “It’s beautiful,” he whispers, “like you.”

Kevin squeezes him even tighter. They say good-bye to the shopkeeper, who grins widely at them and wishes them a merry Christmas.

Dan can’t stop smiling. “It’s not even Christmas yet, and I haven’t bought your present yet!”

Kevin chuckles. “That’s fine, Dan. I just wanted to make you happy. Plus, today already felt like one big present. Merry early Christmas.”

“Merry early Christmas, Kevin.”

Dan’s hand brushes against Kevin’s and he takes it, feeling their fingers intertwine so easily as if they’d been walking around like this forever.

When they reach the big arch at the entrance, Kevin stops to check the time for the busses. Dan takes one last look around to take everything in – the families with the excited children, couples walking down the street with arms around each other, shop owners calling over the chattering of the people, fairy lights everywhere, the smell of wood and fire in the air. The snowing has stopped and the clouds have broken up to let a little bit of moonlight peek through. Dan looks up – and realises they have managed to stop exactly below the massive arch. Beneath the _mistletoe_.

“So the next bus comes i–”

Kevin stops as he notices Dan looking up, and following his gaze, notices the mistletoe, too. Dan blushes, suddenly hyperaware again of the fact that they are holding hands. He knows Kevin has called him pretty, and bought him a present, and paid for his wine and gave him his hat and held his hand so it wouldn’t freeze off, but that doesn’t mean he–

Dan doesn’t get to finish his thought, because Kevin is slowly raising their intertwined hands, and, ever so softly, brushes his lips against Dan’s knuckles. He looks at him, Kevin’s breath feeling hot against his cold skin, before he lowers their hands again. Dan takes in a breath, wants to say something but doesn’t quite know what or how. Kevin is so close, Dan needs to tilt up his head quite a bit to look at him. Kevin’s eyes are still fixed on him. Finally, with his hand tingling, Dan eventually lets go of him, but he doesn’t let doubt creep into Kevin’s expression for long. He brings his hand to Kevin’s face instead, thumb tracing his rose-coloured cheek, and gets on his tiptoes. With a touch as soft as Kevin’s, he presses a kiss to his nose, delicately but confidently. Kevin makes a surprised noise in the back of his throat, making Dan chuckle.

The hand that Dan has let go of wraps around the small of his back, urging him to get closer. Dan manages one small step before Kevin is leaning down, tilting Dan’s chin up with his other hand and kissing him. Not his nose, nor his cheek, nor his forehead – he kisses his lips this time, soft but insistent, sending little sparks of joy down Daniel’s back. The grip of his hands tightens, one on the bag with Kevin’s gift, and the other on Kevin’s scarf, pulling him in – or rather, keeping himself upright. The kiss only lasts for a few seconds and as they pull apart, Dan feels as if he’s stuck in one of those terrible Christmas movies. Lost in a town he doesn’t really know, lost in the crowd of people swarming around him, but safe in the arms of his lover. Is that what they are now, he wonders.

When Dan opens his eyes, Kevin is smiling at him, shy but warm, and Dan leans in for another kiss. He moves closer, but stops right before Kevin’s lips, as if to say: Kiss me, _please_. So Kevin does.


End file.
